Zumwalt The Lion

August 14, 2008 – 7:55 pm

Everybody loves the “Christian The Lion” video.

It’s been viewed millions of times, it’s made millions of women cry like babies, and it’s made millions of men bite their lip and say things like “whatever, no big deal” before pouting uncontrollably alone in the bathroom where no one can see them.

Well- here’s how it really went down:

I Am Zumwalt: Christian The Lion

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So… The Morgan Freeman Thing… Here’s My Question

August 5, 2008 – 12:28 am

I should probably start by saying that I’m glad he’s okay and everything. But besides that, there’s one aspect of the story that really stands out to me…

Mississippi Highway Patrol spokesperson Ben Williams said Freeman, 71, and a passenger, Demaris Meyer, were traveling eastbound on Mississippi Highway 32  in Tallahatchie County around 11:30pm when his vehicle went off the edge of the road.

Freeman overcorrected, flipping the 1997 Nissan Maxima he was driving several times before coming to a rest.

Why is Morgan Freeman driving a 1997 Nissan Maxima??? Dude, you won an Oscar… you’re in the biggest movie out right now… treat yourself to an automobile built this century.

And of course, my follow up question is: how much would you pay for audio of Morgan narrating the Jaws of Life removing him from his car?

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Matthew Broderick: 2 Commandments Down, 8 To Go

July 24, 2008 – 9:55 pm

If it’s true that Matthew Broderick is cheating on his wife Sarah Jessica Parker (and why wouldn’t it be… he’s Ferris Fucking Buehler) then that means he’s already knocked off two of the Ten Commandments. At least. I mean, we all know he killed a couple of people 20 years ago in Ireland (DO we all know that? We should, right? How come nobody ever talks about this?) and now he’s allegedly committed adultery. Assuming he’s coveted his neighbor’s wife (who hasn’t?), worked on a Sunday (sorry, Sabbath) and taken the name of the Lord in vain (God dammit), that mean’s he’s 1/2 way to checking all 10 commandments off his checklist. Best of luck, Matthew! Best of luck!

somewhat related: Sixes In The City

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Holy Something-Or-Other, Batman!

July 23, 2008 – 8:52 pm

And we’re back, people. This time for real. And what better to way to kick off our return than with an I Am Zumwalt exclusive– we tapped Christian Bale’s phone. Check it out here!

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Rent Roman, Or Just Send Jason $20… He’ll Be Happy Either Way

May 14, 2008 – 7:17 am

So in case you haven’t heard, our very own Jason Zumwalt provided the voice of Roman in the brand new Grand Theft Auto. He was paid handsomely for his work, of course, but unfortunately actors don’t get any residuals in video games. That’s why he urges you… no, he needs you… to Rent Roman.


UPDATE: The folks at Rockstar made Jason pull the video. Apparently stealing cars and beating the shit out of strippers is cool, but implying that one of the actors didn’t make any money is not cool. Let that be a lesson to us all. 

UPDATE 2: Jason wants you all to know that he made money. A lot of money. So much money that he bought not 1– but TWO– copies of GTA4. Now that’s money. 

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The Post Show is back

May 14, 2008 – 1:32 am

Hey everybody, The Post Show is back. We’re new, we’re improved, and we’re going to be updating our new site with videos, news, and blog posts on a regular basis. So bookmark this page NOW. Thanks for checking us out, and believe me when I say we’ll be seeing a whole lot more of one another in the very near future. It’s good to be back.

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